I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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