OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
