I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
