Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
There are leaves in my underwear?
You left your phone here
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