they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
now i know why i became what i already was.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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