when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
