There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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