i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
