Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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