Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
