I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
