guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
