and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
do herpes really smell.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
