haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
