TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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