you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
