Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
