There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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