why didn't you poke me back
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
