every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just found puke in my bra..
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
