just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
