why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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