just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
