I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize