Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
