we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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