I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
