he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
