Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We have so much sex to catch up on
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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