i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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