So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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