i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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