I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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