I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
