You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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