she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
