I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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