Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
