I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
