Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
