I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
