careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
