if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
