$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
