I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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