I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
