WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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