You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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