You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
