He told me they were just razor bumps!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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