I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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