I want to make a zoo with you.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
