Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
