my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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